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  • Kate Walker

Progression


One of the hardest things to deal with as far as FA goes is progression. Knowing that you are not going to get better is bad enough, much less knowing that you are only going to get worse. Lately, I have had trouble dealing with progression that my body is going through because I can look back a year ago, or even a few months ago, and see things that I could do that I can't do now. I fell in a slump a couple of weeks ago and kept thinking "why am I trying to keep my body healthy if it is not going to stop the progression anyway?" Well, after a long time of thinking, I realized that yeah, I can't stop the progression, but what I can do is slow it down. I knew this the whole time, but I have to constantly remind myself of it. When I'm super tired and don't want to do my exercises that day, I have to sit down and ask myself, "Why? Why am I trying to keep my body healthy?" Eventually, I remember the answer, if you don't use it, you lose it. Yes, that is a little harsh, but it is the truth. That is really hard to wrap my brain around because I constantly have the thoughts that it is not fair. It's not fair that I, a 14 year girl going through high school like everyone else my age, has to do exercises every day just so I can walk.

I started bringing my walker to school a few weeks ago and for a few days, it almost killed me. I thought that I was taking the easy way out. If you know me, you know that I am not going to take an accommodation until I absolutely have to. After a few days, I realized that this was an accommodation that I needed. Even though I hate to admit it, it has helped me out a lot. I also know that I am going to keep fighting and working hard to keep my body healthy and strong. Yes, progression is the absolute worst, but it also brings me the motivation that I need to keep fighting.



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